While I sit here in the hospital with my mom, I thought I’d share a really great project with you that my daughter, April, did recently – a dresser turned tv stand.
But then I decided to just have a chat with you. To encourage you. To let you know what’s up and that it’s all good.
I’ll do the Dresser Turned TV Stand another time.
At the moment of this writing, I’m doing the ultimate DIY
sitting alone in a hospital room
I’m tending to my mom who had a major stroke Saturday morning. Let me take a moment here and encourage you. I’ve been through losing a father (30 years ago when I was 26) and now am dealing with a part of life no one wants to – watching a mother decline and trying to figure out how to make her as comfortable as possible, manage all the family’s emotional needs and navigate the ins and outs of insurance and hospital care.
Making decisions sometimes stinks.
But they must be made.
Pain. Insurance. Hospice. Decisions. Family. Grief. Closure. Doctors. Foleys. IVs. CNAs. Morphine. HIgh Blood Pressure. Heart Rhythm. Grandkids. Updates. Rehab. Tests. AFib. Blood Clots. tPA. Nurses. Swallow Studies. Call Buttons.
The list goes on. But you know what? I’ve learned a lot. I’ve discovered I can do it alone. Don’t get me wrong. I have a ton of supportive, loving family and friends. My DH is amazing. My kids are amazing. Even my grandkids are amazing. But when you have medical and financial power of attorney, it’s all you. IT’S ALL YOU.
some A LOT of time in hospitals, doctor’s offices, and rehab.
Too much time.
I found myself directing people when I saw they were lost and trying to find their loved one’s room number. I’m not a rookie any more. I know the nurses personally and they all know who Pepper is (my mom’s nickname). They were all disappointed when I told them she’d had a stroke. They were all pulling for that 86 year old spunky lady that grumbled when she had to do rehab.
I’ve taken on the role of being a mother to my mother. She is looking to me to make decisions for her, to take care of her, to protect her, to honor her wishes.
Make your decision now. Prepare for this in your future. Decide to do what you have to do to get the job done.
When it happens to you, you will either fall apart or you will get the job done. You can decide to say, “I got this.” I want to tell you. You can say “I got this,” too like I have.
Be that person.
Don’t just rely on others to do stuff for you. Learn. Do. Ask questions. Google it. Watch YouTube. Ask more questions. Prepare. Trust yourself to handle it. Tell yourself, “I got this” whether it’s a DIY home project or deciding which care facility to use for your mom.
I’m not just telling you this. I’m living it. And I know what I’m saying is true.
Mom chose open heart surgery two months ago today (she’s 86) where they did a quadruple bypass and an aortic valve replacement. She had 12 near blockages in her heart and a bad valve. According to the cardiologist it was either open heart surgery or 2-12 months to live. The past two months were hard but we made it through and mom had been progressing well the last two weeks, finally. She had just told me last week, “I feel like I’m going to make it.”
Enter “the stroke.”
Life took an unexpected turn.
Since we are people of faith, there is no questioning “why” though I do feel kind of ripped off. A year of constant sickness, 6 or 7 hospitalizations (so many I can’t remember) doctor visits, tests, open heart surgery, more doctor visits, rehab, ambulance rides, etc. Then when progress is evident, life starts to take on a normalcy again. You take a breath and say to yourself, we’re going to make it through this.
Then BOOM. Your life is turned upside down. Yeah. I feel ripped off. I’m human. We went through so much for months and just start to see a light at the end of the tunnel and all goes dark in a brief moment when blood clot meets brain.
Guess what? I have a secret that sustains me. It’s why I can say, “I got this.” God never sacrifices our good for HIs glory and He never sacrifices His glory for our good. So I’m covered. My mom is covered. Our family is good.
We all know He’s got this.
So I’ve got this too, with His help. I may wonder but I don’t doubt. I may be saddened but I have the joy of knowing my mom will soon meet up with my Dad and that all my decisions for her refected her wishes.
What a day that will be when she is whole again!
Now my job is to do what I can for her and let Him guide me and those I have to work with.
As I sit by her side with my family and friends supporting me in body, spirit or on Facebook group text, I know I can do this.
I want you to decide the same thing when it’s your time.
Thanks for listening. Thanks for what you are doing for your mom.
I got this.
More in the series:
The Ultimate DIY – Saying Goodbye to Your Mom (you are here)